Lobstercakes

Sorry I haven't posted for a long time cuz I've been really busy. OK. You might be wondering why I titled this post lobstercake. Well, here's the story. It all started this morning...

So the Food Bearer was in a deep sleep. I knew this because I was in her room because I wanted to be a good boy and wake her up for school! Well... yes and no. Mostly it was because I wanted my breakfast. Please don't tell her that.

Anyway. So I was peacefully lying down next to her bed. Okay so I was barking...but only a little! Then out of the blue she starts singing(yeah,that's right.SINGING!), "No! you'll never get me alive you idiotic lobstercakes!" So there I was minding my own business while she's torturing me with her horrible singing! Can you believe how rude she was being? Then, all of a sudden she starts rolling around her bed, still singing, and I'm still sitting there scared out of my own pants! And then before I could even say meatloaf, she rolls right on top of me! Can you believe it! She rolled on top of me!

That was it. I got so aggravated that I sat on top of her. That's whenshe woke up. She started making this weird gagging noise. I stood up and licked her nose. Then she tells me,"Very funny Gus. I couldn't breathe with your huge butt on top of me!" I was confused. All I wanted was my breakfast!

Happy Endings

Sorry, I haven't posted for a while. Today I was watching Animal Planet with the Food Bearer, and we were watching a show about this senior dog who got a second chance. The doggie was abused. The Humane Society peeps rescued him. He had some weird disease and they thought he would die. They were gonna euthanize him, but this senior women bought him before they did. She brought him home and named him Clover. He needed a lot of care because of his disease, but the old person was determined to nurse him back to health. After like a month, he was healthy again. I was crying and so was teh Food Bearer. It was so sad! But it had a happy ending.

Today was boring. I went outside and played a little. When the Food Bearer got home, she said her legs were in excruciating pain, so she didn't take me outside. I was upset, but I forgave her. She said something like tripping on a chair and killing her foot. Wow, the Food Bearer must have been really acting even stranger than she usually is, because she started to act all weird and frolic around the room attempting to sing "Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala." Wow, she sure did keep that up for a while. Despite my strange looks she still kept it up. It wasn't until I head-butted her that she stopped. Once I did that she lectured me on how I would regret my interrupting her practice when she became a famous singer someday. I don't think that would happen in her dreams because she sucks. Please don't tell her I said that. If you do, she will launch into a fifty hour lecture on how I shouldn't be talking because I can't sing better. Oh no, she just called my name. i think she wants to yell at me for eating her socks. Gtta go, I'll post again tomorrow!

Today

Today my human sisters and brothers all went to school and Daddy went to work. I was home alone with my Mommy. I've been sleeping on the Food Bearer's bed. Wow is it comfortable. Today when the Food Bearer got home from school, she caught me on her bed. She told me I was spoiled! Can you believe it! I'm not rotten. I'm still fresh. I took that insult personally. I don't look like anything spoiled. In fact, I eat leftovers BEFORE they spoil. If it wasn't for me, there would be tons of rotten things in the refridgerator. Maybe all the food I saved from spoiling is rotting in my tummy!!! Oh no! I might be spoiled!!!!!!!!!!

10 minutes later... Phew! What a relief! I just told the Food Bearer about my problem, and she explained it to me. I'm not spoiling. I just get a lot of things other doggies don't. That's okay with me though!

Welcome to my blog!

Hi I'm Gus Tuff Wenger. My human sister Michaela is the best. I like to think of her as the Food Bearer. She feeds me my breakfast and dindin. It's weird, my human family calls dindin dinner. Maybe because their's is much tastier than mine, (trust me on this one). Sometimes if I'm a good doggie I can have their scrumptious, mouth-watering leftovers. My favorite leftover is meat loaf. It's so delicious, and there's always lot's of leftover meat loaf cause my brothers and sisters think it's icky tasting. But I love it. Besides, I eat too fast I can barely taste it at all. Maybe it is icky........
Sorry, I have to go now, my family is having dindin, and I have to beg. I hope I get leftovers!